Sunday funnies: Hickenlooper gets lampooned by The Onion

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The Onion logo is copyrighted/trademarked by The Onion (we think, our legal department took Sunday off), let’s see if we hear from their lawyers. Same with the picture of Hick.

Since we are Colorado based right now and write under the name Colorado Citizens Press, we’ve covered our former horrible Governor, John Hickenlooper quite a bit. For example, we wrote about how full of it he was here. Plus, we wrote about how he was going to milk his campaign here.



Admittedly, Hick is an easy target.

He was super-liberal as our governor here in Colorado, even though he portrays himself as a moderate. He has very little if any charisma. He surrounded himself with sycophants, that do what they do – tell him he’s great.

Now Hick even after flirting with the national stage of “allegedly” being on Hillary Clinton’s short list for Vice-president in 2016, is trying to run for President. He has certainly fallen short on all metrics.

Hick built up a quirky brewery owner persona here in Colorado really with some slick marketing campaigns. He did this from the late 1980s from when he opened his first brewery until he left the Governor’s Mansion in January 2018.

The problem is no one outside of Colorado knows him or has bought into this persona. It comes as no surprise that Hick’s campaign is doing poorly, as we saw half his Presidential campaign staff leave for other campaigns like Beto’s.



There is one bright spot, last week he got lampooned by the satire news blog The Onion. Admittedly, we have no idea how we missed this headline last Tuesday: John Hickenlooper Sets Ambitious $250 Fundraising Goal For Next Debate Cycle. But hey, we’ll make up for it now!

Well, it’s Sunday and this author has to go to church, so let’s just quote half the article here:

Democratic presidential candidate John Hickenlooper set an ambitious $250 fundraising goal Tuesday for next the debate cycle. “It certainly won’t be easy, but with your help, we can grow from a grassroots campaign with virtually nothing to a grassroots campaign with $250 dollars,” said Hickenlooper at a recent rally, bucking the warnings of advisors who cautioned him to stay below an “already insane” $100 ceiling for the next financial quarter. “I know it sounds impossible now, but if 25,000 Americans donate just one cent to Hickenlooper 2020, we’ll reach $250 in no time.

The Onion, July 8, 2019

We try to be snarky on occasion and interject some humor here at CCP, but we just aren’t worthy compared to The Onion. This one obviously made us laugh, and we hope you find it funny as well.

Hope you enjoyed your Sunday Funnies and please share!

Remember to check back with the Colorado Citizen Press. We’re always looking for good stories to write about. Please use our “Citizen Tip Line” early and often. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter (@COCitizenPress)!



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